Leigh Parker

Painter of pixels. Drinker of coffee. Writer of books. Moaner of moans. Reader of most fiction. Planter of plants. Failer of life.
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probablyhuman:

This is the Deep in Hull, where you can book sleepovers for kids parties.

This is in my town…we don’t get mentioned much. There’s penguins there now :D

My babies :D

For one day per week that my niece and nephew are off school for the holidays I have to look after them. Last week it was half term and this time I thought I’d record everything that happened. The results will probably bore you. Names of my niece and nephew have been shortened to their first initial.

9:30 - Babysitting on less than 4 hours sleep. B and J are currently more coherent than I am and can respond more quickly to questions than I can. Coffee has been made and Narnia 3 is on. I ask if we can stick a different film on because Narnia is shite but I get told to “Move out the way, we’re watching this,”.

9:51 - I’m bored. J is eating cereal straight out of the box and B is drawing in her diary without taking her eyes off the tv screen…multitasking at its finest.

10:00 - Walk into kitchen to see if there’s any eggs to make buns with. No. My sister hasn’t left them any dinner either. Last time this happened I got - 

Me: J, what do you want in your sandwich? Cheese? 
J: I don’t like cheese. 
Me: Yeah, you do. I’ve seen you eat it.
J: I don’t want cheese.
10 mins later. Enter Granddad.
Granddad: I’ll make J’s. J what do you want in your sandwich?
J: Cheese.

10:14 - Minor dispute over who’s cup is whose. Over in seconds when B snaps at J. J backs down. He knows what will happened if he pursues it any further and since we’re both scared of her, I remain quiet as well. 

10:29 - Second coffee. Narnia 3 is still on and is still shite. Nearly dislocate my jaw yawning. 

10:35 - The dvd has started to jump.

10:44 - B is now eating rice crispies from the box and is puzzled as to why there is already a spoon inside. I’m contemplating whether or not to introduce them to “the bowl”. 

11.01 - They’ve both got a bow and are now looking for arrows. I blame Narnia 3…which is still jumping. Thankfully, arrows haven’t been found.

11:08 - Narnia 3 has finished. Wahey. We spend the next ten mins looking for the walnut whip I left last night. It’s like an Easter egg hunt but with a walnut whip. 

11:23 - I make them a ham sandwich each.

11:25 - They’ve both eaten the ham and left the bread. 

11:34 - Granddad has eaten walnut whip. J gives him a bollocking. Mwhahaha, my minions.

12:06 - Setting off for garage. Walking down black path or what we affectionately call “Dog shit alley”. 

12:26 - Reach garage. Buy two slushes, both have red and blue slush.

12:35 - I give them a lecture on the dangers of drink driving as we walk to my cousin’s house. A bit premature for a 7 + 8 year old maybe, but, oh well.

12:42 - Reach my cousin’s house. 

12:50 - Watching the skiing. J repeatedly shouts “Wack it!!!” everytime a skier nears a pole. I’m then out witted by the said 7 year old when he tell us that it’s the French that are skiing and I ask him how he knows they’re not UK (they’re wearing the same colours) when he points to bottom of the screen and says, “Look…FRA”. 

1:30 - Leave cousin’s house. J jumps over a “mud pud” and somebody needs the toilet, so I have to mince all the way back.

1:48 - B wants cake. J wants the star decorations off the cake and cheese. They’re playing on the dining room table. B has suddenly adopted an American accent.

2:09 - They’re playing Gladiators/Lord of the Rings. I daren’t move for fear of getting my ears clipped by plastic swords. 

2:25 - It’s oh so quiet…Spongebob is on. 

2:35 - Coffee number 3. B’s on Minecraft building a house under water with blue bricks. Hmmm…

2:44 - B: I made this blue thing and I’ve looked everywhere but I don’t know where it is.

3:09 - Just eaten two walnut whips. Feel sick. Is it home time yet?

4:07 - Spongbob is still on. I asked B and J if it’s alright if I fall asleep. They said yes, of course it is. Who’s looking after who here?

4:32 - I’m free.
My book ‘The 4 Gs’ is going to be free on Amazon from 28th Feb until 2nd March or if you’re not a tight-arse, you can buy it now for 77p here - 
Fanks.
-L
Hi bookworms,
I released a new kindle book a week before Christmas called ‘The 4 Gs’ which is available on Amazon for $1.26 / £0.77. You can get it here - UK and here US

The synopsis - After an incident involving the Chav Triplets, a canal and the police, Dominic Barrett is forced to have 10 sessions of therapy with Jo, an San Franciscan who doesn’t quite seem to grasp the concept of listening.

If you’d like a free copy to review give me a shout, it’s only a short ‘un (110 pages according to Amazon) and please reblog if you can. 

Thank you bambinos. 

Hi bookworms,

I released a new kindle book a week before Christmas called ‘The 4 Gs’ which is available on Amazon for $1.26 / £0.77. You can get it here - UK and here US

The synopsis - After an incident involving the Chav Triplets, a canal and the police, Dominic Barrett is forced to have 10 sessions of therapy with Jo, an San Franciscan who doesn’t quite seem to grasp the concept of listening.

If you’d like a free copy to review give me a shout, it’s only a short ‘un (110 pages according to Amazon) and please reblog if you can. 

Thank you bambinos. 

Instead of becoming a spinster lady with loads of cats who writes erotica vampire fiction, I’m gonna become a sinister lady with loads of cactus’s who writes fuck all coz I can’t be arsed anymore. Ciao.

positive-press-daily:

Have you met the Bee Lady? She has raised more than £100,000 for charity

Her name is Jean, and  she is 91 years old and known in the City of Hull as “The Bee Lady”,  she has her own  special bumble bee themed phone box in the city center and  has been named Fundraiser of the Year at the Pride of Britain Awards.

Mrs Bishop started fundraising for Age UK Hull 14 years ago , after her husband died and initially rented a costume from the charity to attract attention while carrying a tin at shopping malls.

Her daughter later made a costume for her out of three hula-hoops and material bought from a charity shop which in later became a giant bumblebee. As a thanks for her  voluntary work she has been to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen, was chosen as an Olympic Torchbearer in 2012,

She recently  won an award at Pride of Britain 2013, ‘ The awards were amazing and all of the celebrities added to the £92,000 I had raised to get to my first goal of £100,000′. She states

Pam Davies, chief executive of Age UK Hull, said Mrs Bishop was “inspiring”.

“She has serious staying power to stand with that tin all day, and to do it all in that outfit, which isn’t the most comfortable, is incredible,” she said.

“Really her money has helped us continue to provide services for elderly people in the city.”

She currently has started an online fundraiser as well.  [x]

(via exclusively-positive-press)

morningsong-:

Say YES to Hull. Hull won the city of culture 2017. Always been proud to be from Hull.

I saw Chuck Palahniuk tonight. The dude was amazing. He read Guts and some kid fainted. I bought a signed book. 

I’m selling a couple of pixel paintings I did back in 2008 if anyone would like them. 

I have a few to sell, starting with these two, Robert Pattinson and Heath Ledger’s Joker. 

I was wanting to sell them at £100 because they took so long (About two weeks each) to do but I will accept £80 each. 

If anyone is interested, please email me at leighcupid@gmail.com

Will post anyway (though I don’t know how much that’ll be yet)

Robert Pattinson -

18 x 22 inches, canvas board, 9 acrylic blues. 

Heath Ledger - 

18 x 22 inches, canvas board, 5 acrylic violets and black. 

Thank you

-L

Currently making a Finn felt plush for my nephew 😃

Just found this from about a year ago. I started cross stitching Tegan Quin and never finished it. The computer I had the pattern on died so I don’t know if it’s possible to complete.

Hello fellow Tumblrs, here above are the two ebooks I’ve written. 

I’m trying to save up for a car and I really need some help to promote my books. I would be eternally grateful to anyone that buys/reblogs this post. 

Both books are for sale at $2.00/£1.35 each.

UK - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Leigh-Parker/e/B005DA8BKI/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

US - http://www.amazon.com/Leigh-Parker/e/B005DA8BKI/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

So if you like humorous books about a Stupid Cupid and lots of swearing, then please check them out. 

Thank you

-L

@leighparker82 

Edible Tegan and Sara. These should be mass produced. Only one cupcake left 😞

smilebeforedawn:

leighparker1:

I got my soon to be 8 year old niece 12 Tegan and Sara cupcakes for her birthday.

Yay!!!!! These look so good!!!

Thank you. I’m so happy with them. My niece loved them that much, when I first gave her them, she hugged the box :D

I got my soon to be 8 year old niece 12 Tegan and Sara cupcakes for her birthday.

Edit: Just added a couple more close ups.